Friday, August 12, 2011


the reason i have been entering my blog less today is cos i have been refining... reff... eyeing... rifining... yes i think that's what he said... (a word that means nothing to me thusfar) ... my lindsay kemp piece cos it's gonna be put in a book... therefore and ergo and therefore whomsoever whererandwhatwith... it has to hold together at least half ok... i have just had a day of watermelon, salad, parma ham and peaches... gosh it was great... ''high energy, your love is lifting me higherrrrrrrrrrr'' hahahhhhhhh, my sister sang that with the los limas dancers about 68 years ago... she thought it was hilarious, and so it was... good times... well, for her, anyway. i am watching french n saunders 'still alive' tour... i have honestly watched it about 100 times, maybe more... it is just perfection. they changed the face of british comedy. they totally inspire me. they are utterly equal in their prowess, it seems... i just wanna kiss 'em both 'mwah'... cheers your fabulous women. they have saved whole years for me

i forgot to shower today!

has anyone ever taken codeine for pain and then 'flown'? i have it in case of pain and occasionally have to take it at a high dosage... then, have found life not quite as hard as half an hour before, i feel i probably can manage another day, i pick up the phone to people i usually just can't be doing with us... no wonder people take them recreationally... woosh, nice n relaxed, i probably like normal people feel on wine... if only. i would love a glass with him right now... 13 days to go. i cut my fingernails for the move... boxes etc... i was leafing thru pics today on facebook, and i saw some very beautifully manicured nails... i saw a load of pictures from this one person with whom i went to school,these were pictures showing james bond film or 'dynasty' type luxury... flowers... roses, the most superb you ever saw, harrods at about £400 a box in 1994... i know, i saw them when i worked there... and chocolates all hand made in wonderful boxes, like from a 50s films, in hat box type affairs, and desserts of just dreamlike design and stature... cruises, designer clothes... and i remembered that she was an estate agent but i couldnt remember if it was in fact holiday cruises she managed. there she was, on fb, so i asked her. she said ''oh darling, you know i have never worked and nor shall i, my role in life is to live the one everyone else has never even dared to dream...'' and i thought she was joking, so i replied ''haahhahahahahh'' and then i saw that she was being serious. someone had commented on one of her glamorous hand made french chocolate nouvelle cuisine magnificent desserts, really the most pretty and delicate i ever saw...though big! and i saw this comment, ''it's amazing, none of the other girls in monaco were eating them, and i was eating two a day, one after lunch and one after supper and i am still an extra small. i suppose looks and keeping slim are just in my genes.'' now, something very bitter .i then read how sad she was to be posting her simply beautiful - truly, edible, big welling up eyes -  11 year old little boy all suited and booted with his trunk, to go back to stowe... i thought to myself, she does nothing but have coffee meetings and eat cake and go out for lunch and go out far drinks and go out for supper, why does she have to send him so far away if she misses him that much. i am sure she misses him, i do and only saw one pic of him for a nano-second. she is always boasting... her pictures are of diamond rings, huge, million dollar ones, the size of a 50 pence piece but spherical... she wants more n more n more... one post was of a huge REAL bling and it said ''who wants to make a girl's dream come true'' it is transparent that she is unhappy and lacks confidence. i know she divorced soon after she married and is ''engaged'' but clearly she is not a happy bunny. every single picture is of her looking really happy a big smile, in the same pose, right leg slightly bent in front of the other... big hair, nails, lipstick, designer bag showing, big smile, perfect colgate teeth smile... i wonder if i could help her. i am good at bettering people's lives. i am good at caring. but she will, don't you think, drive people away with her incessant ''look at me, aren't i rich'' theme. something in me tells her she would be happier with a loving man looking after her and less talk about the hermes... you should have seen theses hand make chox, i was literally salivating like pavlovs dog. or did he have more than one dog. i bet they weren't called robert. which is what i have always wanted. a dog called robert. i think i 'll give her a call. she is so spoilt, its just never good for people is it... i saw one of her pictures was a photo of the cash till register when she was paying at harrods and it was, i jest not, £22,465.55. who would take a picture of their cash til register? who?

now i must try to sleep, i have been to la richoux for coffe and brioche, had my massage, had my hair done, been to fortnums for luncheon, bought flowers from harrods, had my nails done, done a bit of shopping in harvey nichols, gone for tea at *the ritz* then cocktails then flown to the top of the eiffel tower for supper... only thing is, i did it all alone...

that's her.