second act

i am not beautiful. i just am a convincing actress. i always was. but if you act something enough you become it. this i know. i am also not a brilliant singer. but i am a great mimic. i can do anyone from joni mitchell to kate bush to madonna to fleming to crespin to kiri, but it's not me. however, when you sing it thru your own voice, it is you! it is not possible to avoid it! i am acting. i have often wondered, being of a reflective and introspective nature, whether giving it to the audience is the first or the second time of acting. do you act it to yourself to ensure you can act it to them. or do you act it to them then really almost become it? i am not really a good writer, i just believe i am while i do it and as a fraudster i am thus believed and applauded. i then believe it myself. nor am i am good dancer BUT if it's good enough for lindsay kemp, i am very happy. try it for yourself. when i was put on a certain drug with which my body violently disagreed, i put on 6 stone in weight in 6 months. every girls nightmare. but i bought new clothes and stuck my shoulders back and smiled good hair and make up, and honestly? it didn't matter. i still had a small waist and people found me no less attractive, indeed, i had more offers then than now (not that i want them now of course because of him. ) i was acting 'gorgeous, flamboyant and large breasts' . it wasn't me. but that was my act. as someone with as little confidence as i have naturally, i had no choice and we all know what no choice does to our will power. everything i have said is true....no, yes... it is the second act...