Monday, August 8, 2011

4pm

i woke up at 4pm...mind you i went down at 5am...i am thrilled to have my first canine follower on my blog! woof woof woof GEORGE! hehe... today i shall break the cycle of doom... i mean learning... and throw in a luffly phone call with my ALL TIME FAVOURITE GEORDIE phil, and his 6 year old daughter, she of icon badge making emporium, and then add a brave skype with dad, then one with mum and then relax with Him... i just cant muster the strength to take out the stinky old fruit flea bitten rubbish that lies about 2 metres from my front and only door... i can't face the world... even though its only 20 metres away in a skip... the world is in a skip, ooh i might write a poem called that later... or that thought might inspire me to write something like it or based on it or sparked off from it... ooh doesn't sparked off sound rude... not my style (not much i hear you shriek) at all...

anyhow, i have drunk my morning , as it were, coffee, it was nice ISH, got my fucking endless migraine blocked sinuses and can't actually taste much but i feel before it was cold it was nice... i woke up rather jolly and i did a sort of comedy morcombe n wise throwing things around making breakfast (coffee) and so wasted a lot of decaf lavazza and need to clean A LOT but it was fun and i love making a massive mess, fortnum and mason tea bags all over floor, spilled things not mopped up and clothes all over bedroom, used victoria secret undies in a crocodile to the bucket that should be a linen basket... a sort of up-market tracey emin affair, i love her, she is fab, but not, cos it's just little me. positive self talk emma. positive self talk. am fab too. am fab too. am fab too. ugh, useless. did no good at all. must persist.

so... going to uk on 11. dont wanna go. too much upheaval. too emotional. but have to go to dentist. meds. coordinator. shrink. breast check. something else i cant recall right now...mmm... oh to collect strapless bras, ipad cover and italian mobile phone. 11 days there then come back to italy and moooooooooooooooooove to bologna with him... v exciting, if ask self.uo til now i haven't wanted to to comit to so much as a two for one meal deal so far with circa 332 fellow 'friends' (not) , now it feels like the natural thing to do to sign on the line and move in,no fear at all... ... i guess when you know you know... the way you do about a bra fitting or a rhubarb n custard reminding you of your childhood or not being the authentic sort it promised to be... where was i ? jesus, where AM i ?

have you veer made up a word, i mean a real word with a real meaning, i did, at 5 years old adn it's a corker and i am dying to use it, for it to get round and for it to be widely accepted, or even narrowly... i don't feel clever having done it, not at all, i just like it and feel others would. i never feel clever. do you. i wonder if really clever people like erm... oh dear, am so stupid i can't think of ONE clever person, com'on emma, erm... bill gates, i wonder if he feels clever, he and madonna share the same IQ of 144, i guess that is clever... my doctor told me once he thought i could be classed as a genius and should check it out, but i have this undermining theory, and could undermine any compliment ever given to me in one easy step, and in about a millisecond, that in fact what he meant was that i have all the shitty problems that genii have... not that i was mega bright... and anyway, who wants to be in MENSA? have you seen pics of their conventions that they advertise in their online mags? knob 'eds the lots of 'em. they look like christians. sorry but there it is. men in argyll sweaters and jesus sandals with socks and women in A- line skirts, flesh coloured tights and flat Clarks shoes. i believe in God 100% but i do not look like an english church of england or evengelical christian and in fact think they are a threat to christianity, cos they put people off trying to believe. oh and so superior, to boot! therefore they should be shot. all of them. and i say that in a chrstianly way. oh i do make myself laugh. it eases the feelings of must kill self forthwith. bye for now...