Sunday, August 14, 2011

stale bread makes me smile

in italy it is ferragosto tomorrow where they all sod off to somewhere where there is even MORE food and drink, and celebrate with loved ones, whether they are family or mates... i like this culture,  they know how to live, and they don't care, they are calm... he is at the beach with his friends in sardinia including a priest and a cop... so they will probably have a far more raucous time than anyone else in italy! i cannot tell you how different italy is from england... when i went to the caribinieri about having my ex landlord steal money from me, they said 'there is nothing we can do', i said 'but i have video footage of his trying to break into my house', they said, 'does he show his face', i said 'no of course cos i was trying not to let him in!' they said 'so there is nothing we can do. even if you had his face there would probably be nothing we could advice to you is to get four of your biggest toughest make friends to go there and beat him til he finds the money and hands it over.' i said, 'and that is your advice to me? 'he nodded and said; 'i would do that. it's your money. get it back however you have to.' i just cannot express to you how shocked i was. i had to sit down. truly. and what is the weirdest thing is this, this cop was actually being utterly serious and trying to help me.

i am in day 8 of my migraine-sinus-infection-throat-glands-general-fevered-dying-ness. i feel terrible. but, what's the point of railing against it? i guess if i were a bug, and i could choose a body, i'd want to be in mine, too, right?

i think this year of total isolation in a large airy lovely apartment in pescara has been really helpful to me... i can manage alone apart from when i am ill, then i need my family.... well that is normal i guess... i can really be happy alone doing the same thing over and over every single day, and never going out apart from to get milk... i can do it. i really can do it. not many could. they would go mad but i do believe that i am saner than normal i think. when on your uppers, you get to know your metal, and your strength of character. sumo wrestler, me... well, thinner... and less balls. i am the one you want when the ship goes down. i am not the one you want when your friends want you to go to a crowded nightclub to watch a gig. or to go in with you, or watch a tv programme abut snakes... or shutting up when someone pisses all over me... or for a group camping trip, or for a long walk thru a city centre. actually i think i could go camping with him... i do like being outdoors and unfettered, and i would enjoy cooking in a field, and also being in a tiny world... a bubble, as i am here i suppose. gosh.

i am on my second coffee i think. it's good coffee. i feel so free. so boheme. so emma. eating a tiny very old crust of foccacia al latte from days ago, right now, even stale bread makes me smile...