churning inside my stomach
looking out into the not light
not dark
nineteen hours and grey
heavy feel
will it rain
summer breeze has turned to chill
did you bring my cardigan
i have a headache
codeine
it feels clogged in the air
its very uneasy in my chest
i cry because i feel homesick from myself
i cant replace myself
i cant tell where i am
where my legs are
where my scent is
where my mind is
i knew where i was in the straw hat of summer
i know where i am kicking leaves thru the wood in the autumn
i know where i am round the christmas tree in winter
but now i could be in space
i am lost
floating around motherless
fatherless
loverless
i have nobody to turn to
i dont know anything because i cant place myself
am i still myself
i am just drifting and it feels bad
i want to home again
uncomfortable, uneasy, stifling, homesick, anxious are the words i would choose...
i feel them as i sit here on a late summer evening
